Budget or Bust

The first time home buyer class made it very clear that buying a house is a serious undertaking. After we talked about being sure that buying a house is the right decision, we then talked about budgeting. Budgeting I must confess is not one of my strong suits. Actually, I don't do it at all. I only do a mental tally of what I think I have spent, a number that I am so sure is no were near correct. I am a child of the modern age. All of my bills are paid automatically, through my bank or debited from my account using my check card. I get charged if I go in to the bank to use a teller more than twice a month. I use direct deposit for pay checks and or benefit checks. I don't even own a check book, because I right checks so rarely that it is cheaper for me to just buy a money order.

I don't budget, a fact that has hurt me more times than I care to remember. Through the years the banks have taken there tole in the form of fees and for this personal failing. My account has been in the -100 dollars a few times. My theory has always been that I never had that much money to start with, so budgeting a few hundred dollars didn't make since. But, now that I have a job a few more dollars to my name, I still don't budget.

My sentiment was echoed around the table in the first time home buyers class. Many people felt just as I did about the budgeting exercise. We were given homework one night. And it was to create a budget of our monthly expenses. We were given a sheet of paper with a whole host of items that ordinary people have to pay for every month. Every thing from rent to child care, transportation, entertainment. The instructor asked us to fill out the part of the sheet that said estimated right there in the class room. She told us to guesstimate what we spent each month, then take it home and fill in the actual amounts of what our own bills were. Now, being a single male living alone in the bachelor’s lifestyle, my expenses were no where near what other people in the class sounded like. Most of my expenses were fixed and rarely waivered from their set amounts. I don't have to pay for thing like gas, car insurance, child care, or groceries for 5 people. I don't drive, I buy a monthly bus pass. I don't have children. And I am perfectly content to eat a bowl of cereal for diner.

This budgeting exercise was quite useful, on a intellectual basis. I see the need for making an actual paper budget. And if what they say is true about my expenses tripling if I buy a house, then it will turn out to be an invaluable skill. How ever right now, I can’t seem to get myself to actually do it. It’s not hard, all it would take is a few concerted hours to sit with the bills and just do it. But, there is something that I can’t describe that gets in my way. It is the same something that gets in the way of me trying to register for classes at the community college. It is the same something that makes me put off an easy task until the very last moment. Budgeting is such an easy thing to do. My girlfriend does it. She also balances her check book on lazy Sunday afternoons. Her parents made sure she new the importance of these basic tasks. My mother never taught me how to balance a check book. I never new how much money came in or went out during the month. True, her mother is a CPA. But, I don’t think that has anything to do with the financial training she got. The question in my mind is, if you are not taught the importance of financial matters as a child, are you ever really able to master your fiancés as an adult? I say master, because that is different than doing it because you need too. Can I be master of my own finances, especially if my income ever grows and I do own a house? Will I ever be comfortable enough to sit around on a lazy Sunday afternoon and check to see if I am within budget or balance my check book? Will I ever even own a check book? Or will it be as the Notorious B.I.G put so directly “more money, more problems”. I honestly don’t know if it’s in me.